Christmas Bloody Christmas streams on Shudder from December 9, 2022.
Synopsis
It’s Christmas Eve and fiery record store owner Tori Tooms just wants to get drunk and party, until the robotic Santa Claus at a nearby toy store goes haywire and makes her night more than a little complicated. Santa Claus begins a rampant killing spree through the neon drenched snowscape against a backdrop of drugs, sex, metal and violence, ultimately forcing Tori into a blood splattered battle for survival against the ruthless heavy metal Saint Nick himself.
Review
Terminator… at Christmas. That’s pretty much all you need me to say with this review. Writer/director Joe Begos Christmas Bloody Christmas is an excellent mash up of the two. Bringing a deadly, almost-unstoppable robot to the holiday season with a heady mix sex, drugs, rock’n’roll and murder.
The premise is nice and simple. A robotic Santa Claus, appearing in toy stores and malls across the US has begun to malfunction and been recalled. One such Santa happens to be in a toy store near Tori Tooms’ (Riley Dandy) record store and when he malfunctions it causes holy hell on Christmas Eve. What follows is a torrent of death and destruction which runs right up until the closing seconds of this 81 minute thrill ride.
Christmas Bloody Christmas throws all the tropes out of the window. Where last week’s Violent Night continues to remind us of the virtues of the holiday season, Begos’ story has nary a positive statement to make about December 25th. It’s a true anti-Christmas film which pushes boundaries in terms of the level of violence one can bestow upon a festively decorated small town.
It’s instinctively easy not to root for Tori as the film shifts towards the action. In the opening act she’s setup as an anti-systemic, punk type. Chugging back as much alcohol as possible and smoking whatever weed she can lay her hands on. Her sole mission is to close up shop and enjoy an evening of debauchery with co-worker Robbie (Sam Delich). They visit their friends in the toy shop and leave them to do the dirty in front of the soon-to-be-murderous Santa. They run up a huge tab at the local bar and then one of the drives home heavily under the influence. These aren’t great people but somehow, Dandy and Delich are able to make us care when suddenly their lives are in grave danger.
Cinematographer Brian Sowell brings an equally dirty quality to the visual style of the film. Christmas Bloody Christmas is bathed in the glow of Christmas lights and takes on a faux-70s grime that feels incredibly unique. To see that level of noise on screen paired with dayglo, twinkling lights is a trip to watch. At times I found it a little distracting but given the homemade, punk nature of so many aspects of the film it still feels right to have taken this approach.
Santa is played by none other than Abraham Benrubi, known to many as loveable desk clerk Jerry Markovic is 137 episodes of ER. I’m sure some of you know him as Olaf the Troll in latter seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There was something hilarious about seeing him play this cold, dead, (obviously) robotic killing machine. Only small glimpses of Benrubi exist under the costume but if you look hard enough he’s there.
Given its home on Shudder, Christmas Bloody Christmas does everything it can to dispatch its kills in new and exciting ways. Santa chops, rips, snaps and crushes his way through plenty of kills even with that breezy runtime. There’s no doubting just how lethal this robot is right down to his final fight with Tori.
Said final battle is equally epic as the rest of the film. Sarah Conner finally comes face-to-face with her Terminator back in the record store with some explosive results. Just when it seems Bego’s has reached the end of this journey, both robot and Tori eke out a little more energy. Stretching the final scene to its absolute limit as both parties refuse to give up.
Verdict
If you’re looking for the perfect antidote to saccharine holiday romcoms then look no further. Christmas Bloody Christmas is a wild ride through a Christmas Eve not to be forgotten.
⭐⭐⭐⭐
